This past weekend found me free....free of cakes, free of a home football game, free of a husband (it's hunting season) so I headed up to Natchitoches. Natchitoches is a beautiful old town rich in history, it is where my family originated and it is where my all time favorite movie, Steel Magnolia's was filmed. I have lots of extended family in and about the area, but my cousin Rhonda just got her a new little apartment and had been wanting me to come so off I went.
We really didn't do a whole lot. We cooked, we ate, we watched football, we talked, we walked front street and did a little shopping. My cousins and were raised more like siblings then cousin. We have always been close. We lost track of each other while raising kids....but over the past 3-4 years we've been brought back together and I'll be the first to say, I'm not sure where I'd be without them. Kelly, Rhonda's sister, has always been the one who appears to have her head screwed on correctly. She always has a different twist, angle, prospective, she makes you think. We call her the leader. Rhonda and I are a lot alike....hot headed and mouthy. That's not to say Kelly isn't, she just has a tighter grip on her emotions I guess.
I had missed my therapy 2 weeks in a row so visiting her was very therapeutic. We talked, as we always do, about everything. Seems like our conversations always come back around to the ones we've lost. Her mother back some 15 years ago I believe and our grandparents. Grandpa has been gone nearly 3 years and grandma gone a year now and our uncle, who was more like a brother, who has been gone nearly 2 years. The normal things....wish we had done this, said that. Oh how we miss them, wish we could talk to them. Get an opinion on this or that. Show us how to cook this or that....ah the memories and the opportunities missed. Some things taken to the grave.....we will never know. Before my grandparents passed, my grandfather told me to take the two things I wanted. I argued with him over this, but he insisted. I had said that when they were gone I refused to argue over their belongings. I'd never tarnish their memory in that way. So I secretly think he wanted to know that I had them. And so it is with pride that I display those two things. One is an old stereo that I literally cut my teeth on and I remember waking on Sunday mornings to gospel music playing on it. It still works.
The other is a picture that my grandmother loved, and although I had a copy, I wanted that picture because she loved it so much.
I was blessed to receive some other things when they died. Some dishes my grandmother used often and the Bible my grandfather used until he drew his last breath. It is a priceless treasure of which I was humbled to receive.
But no matter how much of their "stuff" you have, it never seems to be enough. Several years ago when my grandmother was still able to talk and get around a bit she had given me two hand sewn quilt tops. I had no clue at the time what she was giving me nor the work that she put into them. I gave them to my sister in law to try to find someone to put the backing on. Completely forgot about them till a few days ago. My hubby was going there this past weekend so I asked him to get them(I had found a lady that is making a tshirt quilt for me) I prayed that they had stayed safe and unharmed. This morning I was getting ready for work and noticed a plastic bin on the bar. I had paid little attention to it last night. I was ready to get home, see my husband, see my kid, see my kitten. So I walked up to the bin, opened it and the tears began to flow.
There were my two quilt tops, in pristine condition. I lifted the top one out and there it was.....her smell. As though she were standing in the room with me. The sweet smell of memories! I looked at it as long as I could, and then I laid it down and ran off to work. As the day has gone on, all I can think of is getting those quilts finished so I can wrap myself up in it....bring her back somehow. I know that's not possible but one can dream.
So as Rhonda and I talked about the happy memories that we have of our childhood, being raised with those amazing people in our lives I'm thankful for the time we had, the lessons taught lovingly by example or via belt or fly swatter. Life seems so much more hectic then it use to be. Maybe it was as hectic back then and it just seemed like it wasn't. Kinda like going back to the house you were raised in, remembering it to be so big only to walk in the door and its really small. I've asked the question a lot lately, How did I turn out to be the person I am today with all the things I faced as a child? The answer is simply....the love and care shown to me by the people gone on over shadowed the bad. For this I am grateful and I'm also thankful for the sweet smell of a memory :0)
Take care of you
