Happy Novemeber...Day 1 Of Thanksgiving



http://www.kimberlyryanphotography.net/

(All photos taken by Kimberly Ryan)

 

Well Novemeber.....my how tis year has flown by. Seems like yesterday w were ringing in 2012. Today starts a traditional 30 days of Thanksgiving. A short disclaimer before I give mine for today. I think we should be thankful everyday.....even in the bad times. That in itself can be hard. Also the things I put to paper that I'm thankful for are in no particular order and I'm not more thankful for one then the other. It's just whatever I'm feeling on that day. With that being said.....Let the Thanks begin!

 

Today I'm Thankful For The Gift Of Grands

 

 

I can remember as a young girl longing to have children, a family. Perhaps all the things I'd been through birthed that desire. My family has always mean't the world to me. But I've gotta say that grandkids are for sure heavens reward.



They bring me complete and utter joy. Even on days like today when sprite got spilled on the floor 3 times and after that got mopped up, pee pee had to be mopped up. And when I said no he said yes and please help me pick up all these toys and I'm only 4 years old I don't know how to bath myself and its 10 oclock and I've been home since 4 and I've got NOTHING done.

 

 

Anyone who has a grandbaby knows what I'm talking about and anyone that doesn't is totally clueless. I started a new tration for birthdays the latter part of this year, completely by accident. I didn't have time to get Maddie's present before her party cause I was to busy making a cake so I took her out to eat and shopping. I can't even tell you that it brought more pleasure to me, I think

 

 

To know them is to love them <3 All so beautiful/handsome and oh so smart. Why they are smarter then any grandbabies I know!!!! Right? You all say that don't you? And why not? They are yours. They have you wrapped from the moment the nurse wheels mom and baby through those double doors. Better yet, watch one being shoved out and you'll really have a sense of "Yeah that's my kid. They make me laugh daily and some many things I don't want to forget. Once several years sgo we were out to eat and their pawpaw has always tried to make them choose who they love most, me or him. Abby grabbed us each by the neck and she said I love ya'll both the same!!!

 

 

Heaven sent them to me and I am eternally greatful to call them mine. I want them to always remember that I was the mawmaw wo they had so much fun with and gave them what they wanted when mom and dad said no. Zachary and I have had a tradition since his first haircut. See he was the first boy born on either side of the family since his dad some 23 years before. So excited were we when the lady doing the sonagram said its a boy that the little tiny room exploded with screams of delight. About every 6 weeks we go off to get a haircut and then off to the dollar store for treats. The girls wormed there way in too, but it's ll memories. His mom said to me one day, Mrs Karen, Zachary is gonna remember that and I said thats why I do it

 

 

My heart swells with pride everytime I see them and I thank God daily for this blessing. What would a world be without GRANDS?

 

 



The Sweet Smell Of A Memory

This past weekend found me free....free of cakes, free of a home football game, free of a husband (it's hunting season) so I headed up to Natchitoches. Natchitoches is a beautiful old town rich in history, it is where my family originated and it is where my all time favorite movie, Steel Magnolia's was filmed. I have lots of extended family in and about the area, but my cousin Rhonda just got her a new little apartment and had been wanting me to come so off I went.

We really didn't do a whole lot. We cooked, we ate, we watched football, we talked, we walked front street and did a little shopping. My cousins and were raised more like siblings then cousin. We have always been close. We lost track of each other while raising kids....but over the past 3-4 years we've been brought back together and I'll be the first to say, I'm not sure where I'd be without them. Kelly, Rhonda's sister, has always been the one who appears to have her head screwed on correctly. She always has a different twist, angle, prospective, she makes you think. We call her the leader. Rhonda and I are a lot alike....hot headed and mouthy. That's not to say Kelly isn't, she just has a tighter grip on her emotions I guess.

 I had missed my therapy 2 weeks in a row so visiting her was very therapeutic. We talked, as we always do, about everything. Seems like our conversations always come back around to the ones we've lost. Her mother back some 15 years ago I believe and our grandparents. Grandpa has been gone nearly 3 years and grandma gone a year now and our uncle, who was more like a brother, who has been gone nearly 2 years. The normal things....wish we had done this, said that. Oh how we miss them, wish we could talk to them. Get an opinion on this or that. Show us how to cook this or that....ah the memories and the opportunities missed. Some things taken to the grave.....we will never know. Before my grandparents passed, my grandfather told me to take the two things I wanted. I argued with him over this, but he insisted. I had said that when they were gone I refused to argue over their belongings. I'd never tarnish their memory in that way. So I secretly think he wanted to know that I had them. And so it is with pride that I display those two things. One is an old stereo that I literally cut my teeth on and I remember waking on Sunday mornings to gospel music playing on it. It still works.

 The other is a picture that my grandmother loved, and although I had a copy, I wanted that picture because she loved it so much.

 I was blessed to receive some other things when they died. Some dishes my grandmother used often and the Bible my grandfather used until he drew his last breath. It is a priceless treasure of which I was humbled to receive.

 But no matter how much of their "stuff" you have, it never seems to be enough. Several years ago when my grandmother was still able to talk and get around a bit she had given me two hand sewn quilt tops. I had no clue at the time what she was giving me nor the work that she put into them. I gave them to my sister in law to try to find someone to put the backing on. Completely forgot about them till a few days ago. My hubby was going there this past weekend so I asked him to get them(I had found a lady that is making a tshirt quilt for me) I prayed that they had stayed safe and unharmed. This morning I was getting ready for work and noticed a plastic bin on the bar. I had paid little attention to it last night. I was ready to get home, see my husband, see my kid, see my kitten. So I walked up to the bin, opened it and the tears began to flow.

 There were my two quilt tops, in pristine condition. I lifted the top one out and there it was.....her smell. As though she were standing in the room with me. The sweet smell of memories! I looked at it as long as I could, and then I laid it down and ran off to work. As the day has gone on, all I can think of is getting those quilts finished so I can wrap myself up in it....bring her back somehow. I know that's not possible but one can dream. 

So as Rhonda and I talked about the happy memories that we have of our childhood, being raised with those amazing people in our lives I'm thankful for the time we had, the lessons taught lovingly by example or via belt or fly swatter. Life seems so much more hectic then it use to be. Maybe it was as hectic back then and it just seemed like it wasn't. Kinda like going back to the house you were raised in, remembering it to be so big only to walk in the door and its really small. I've asked the question a lot lately, How did I turn out to be the person I am today with all the things I faced as a child? The answer is simply....the love and care shown to me by the people gone on over shadowed the bad. For this I am grateful and I'm also thankful for the sweet smell of a memory :0)

Take care of you

Happy Birthday Travis

(My heart)

Today is my only son's birthday. He arrived about 4 weeks early. I didn't even have a clue I was in labor. All in the back.....it was excruciating. We happened to be on a trip out of town. Where you ask? Natchitoches, on a hunting trip......it was the first day of squirrel season! Well his father was hunting, I was pacing the floor. This was long before cell phones and such and with no way to reach his father we headed to the hospital where it was confirmed I was in labor and I birthed that boy all by myself without the aid of any drug!!!

(Sick with pneumonia)

 From the moment he entered my life he filled this empty spot. If you know me, or follow along with my blog you know of which I speak. Because I was so young I often had people that would try to take him, take over. I always raised my hand up and said, nope, he's mine.

(Maddie Grace face right there)

 We basically grew up together, Me and Travis, Travis and me. He was an early riser....sun up, Travis's feet hit the floor, that is till somewhere around middle school where he preferred sleep over play. I can remember as a young child wanting to have children but I never imagined such love. We've always been close, although high school brought some rough waters. I can honestly say the boy has brought me nothing but joy.

(High School)

 As I read this post on Travis's FB a few days back regarding his only son, " Last night while having a "heart to heart" with my son concerning his eduction and the effort he was putting into I had one of those moments where I realized I sounded just like my dad when we discussed my school performance. This boy is a carbon copy of his dad when it comes to school and now I realize how frustrating it can be for a parent and a teacher and I wish now I'd have put fourth a little more effort and tried a little harder, cause now I'm getting the pay back mom wished on me"  It brought back a flood of sweet memories of days gone by.

(Travis and Eric, early 90's

 His dad thinks he and Travis have a great relationship, and they do. But one day I just had to tell Tommy, you don't know the days that boy stops off here at this house to see his momma (and Cherie prolly doesn't either)

(His Wedding Day)

 He is what every mom wants their son to be. Honest, hard working, faithful, loving, giving and kind. He's an awesome son, an amazing Dad and a pretty good husband in my opinion (although I'm not married to him) I've always gotten complements on how wonderful my children are and they say it's a product of their raising.

(All of his buddies. It warms my heart to say he is still friends with all these guys)

 Admittedly I've made plenty of mistakes but that child, nor any of my others for that matter wasn't one. They've all been blessings in their own ways. They don't come with an instruction book. You learn as you go. But I loved them unconditionally, even when I wanted to kill, I gave them a little rope, and I gave them rules. Along with the rules came punishment for breaking said rules.

(Daddy and Son)

 So Travis as you try to steer your son in the right direction.....remember he is a carbon copy of you and what works on one may not work on the other. You've made me one proud momma and I love you more then I could ever say in words. 

Happy Birthday Travis!!!!!

Meet My Madelyn (Maddie) Grace

Madelyn Grace Russell, otherwise known as Maddie Grace. She was born August 30, 2009 and come home from the hospital in the middle of Hurricane Gustav. She has an amazing personality and a very deep voice.

I decided, with Maddie, to start a new tradition on their birthdays. And oh can I tell you the other kids were UPset.....I took Maddie Grace out to eat at the restaurant of her choice (Cheesecake Bistro) and then a little retail therapy!!!! All girls love this

We sit down and she promptly orders crawfish ravioli and says "Soooo this is the place my mommy and all her friends come?" As though we've been trying to keep a big secret

As we are "sharing" a ravioli I ask her what kind of cheesecake she is gonna order.....without blinking an eye she says CHOCOLATE!!!!

She is her mothers child!!!!

Do you see the look of sheer delight on this little face?

Our server was absolutely taken away with her and gave her the cheesecake since it was her birthday! 

Charmer or what?

We went to the mall where we bought candy at the candy store and shoes at the shoe store and Barbies at the Barbie store. There wasn't anything she didn't like (true girl)

Above she is holding her candy treasure and below is a pair of shoes we got

And the princess is flat worn out!!!!!!

We had a wonderful day together.....making memories together! Family-a most precious gift. In the down times, surround yourself with those you love. They will pull you through!!!!!!!

Take care of you

Karen

How About Some Cake????

 The other day as I was looking at a friends blog and all the pretty signs she paints I thought wow I'd love to be able to do that but I don't have the patience. But put a cake in front of me and I'm good to go, I'm inspired. It's a passion I've had for years. I love it....its like painting a different picture, a new canvas.  Here we go.....

Every year I do some tailgate cakes. This is my absolute favored tailgate cake of all time. Perhaps its because I love The Golden Band from Tigerland

And what Tiger tailgate cake would be complete without a little purple and gold? (Disclaimer: the band cake was red velvet. I like to give the tailgaters variety, it is the spice of life)

I had the awesome opportunity to make this cake for a sweet couple. I will tell you that I woke up with the cold sweats at night thinking about doing all these lines. I was, and still am most proud of this cake

I've done so many baby shower cakes I think sometimes I've lost track. This is my absolute favorite

One of my most favorite Grad cakes

 This cake made me jump up and down with excitement.....a bridal shower cake!!!! Out of the box!!!

The bulk of what I make is birthday cakes. This one is a favorite

And who doesn't love Dr. Seuss?

I'm so grateful to have gotten the chance to make this cake....Imagination Movers for Tristyn. Through the charity that I work for, we make cakes for children with serious and sometimes terminal illness and disease :0)

My grandkids are no doubt spoiled rotten. They order up and I bake and decorate up

Of course Recey had to try and out do Maddie Grace

And then cupcakes are a must for the school parties 

AND.....

The Grads!!!!

Hope you've enjoyed looking at some of my cakes and looking at a lighter post, lol. If you're in need email me at sweetkonfections@gmail.com. You can also like my page, Karen's Sweet Konfections on Facebook

Take care of you

Karen

Let me in....Let me out!!!!!!!

I wish I could be inspired to write some deep feeling, heart touching post everyday, but for some reason the inspiration only comes sporadically. Hey who am I kidding? It may not be inspiration to anyone, only in my mind. I love to write.....it's cleansing.

At my job we have a beautiful cat named Max. He is a Maine Coon. I've never owned one to my knowledge, although I had a cat named Petey that, now that I'm thinking of it, acted a lot like Max. Max is a an odd duck ( no he's not really a duck. He's a cat) I've been working here since June and Max still hasn't completely warmed up to me. I don't take kindly to animals or kids that don't like me. They are awesome judges of character. He is very standoffish, almost rude. I would be even more offended except that as I've watched this situation and he treats his owners the very same way, almost with disdain. We have a morning ritual around here and I swear to you that it goes the same way every morning. Get Max up ( he lives in the most beautiful home you've ever seen and he sleeps upstairs) put fresh food and water down ( he gets dry and WET food) He may or may not nibble at the food (this morning he did not) then he proceeds to sit at the door begging to go out. Depending on if you respond immediately or not, his cries grow louder and more demanding. So we go to the door, open it and Max just sits there. We coax and encourage and yet he sits there. Peering at you, peering outside. We've discussed this on many occasions. It's almost as though, dispite his living conditions, where he is treated like royalty, he thinks you are trying to trick him, have a massive trap set for him, you've got a cruel joke planned for him. And when he does finally make the move to go out, he takes a huge leap over the threshold. I guess to miss whatever sticky trap you laid out for him. The other day Max had been outside for a few hours when I heard a faint meow. I looked over at the back door and there was Max. Sitting, waiting not so patiently for me to let him him.

 I grabbed my phone and snapped a pictured of him and almost on cue he stood on his back legs and starts scratching at the glass....."Let me in"

So I open the door and Max just sits there. And so begins the ritual. He sits, I beg him to come in. He sits and I hide behind the door pleading for him to come in. I make a sudden  move and he jolts backwards. Finally I am able to ease out the door, go around the backside of the  table and come up behind him and he lazily jumps over the threshold. Whew.....what a workout. And  the crazy thing is I'm only trying to do for him what he asked. It's not a sinister plot or plan. I just  want to let you in out of the heat and in for some food and water. Geeze!

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As I laid in bed the other night I began to ponder Max, the odd duck cat. In his own way, he loves us. It's not the kind of love I understand. My kinda love is huggin and touchin and pettin and things like that. I've always been leery of the "quiet" ones. I don't know what to do with them because I way overpower them with my loudness. Max acts as though we need him and not the other way around...perhaps this is true to a point.

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My 3 beautiful daughters-Rachel, Kandace and Danica at Kandace's 21st bday party

In my original post I talked about my troubled daughter Rachel and promised to share more. Today is that day. From the moment of conception I knew this kid was different. An odd duck if you will. She was/is the most headstrong and stubborn of all my kids. She could/can throw a tantrum like nobodies business. She was also very keen, bright and wise way back in the day. The days when I was burying my head in the sand. In denial about the predator around the corner. She never wanted to go there. She preferred her other grandparents and her great grandparents. She sensed something way back. She was a tomboy with quick wit and the most beautiful golden, long hair you've ever seen. Dark olive skin with a little beauty mark on her face that she hates to this day. She grew into an amazing kid that gave me few troubles....well nothing out of the realm of normal kid stuff. Until she was about 17. She woke one morning to say her tongue was all chewed up. Come to find out, the night before she had been with friends and went off into a stare.....no doubt she had had a seizure. Went to ER and long story short they found drugs in her system. Dismissed the seizure as being brought on by drugs and sent us home without recommending a neuro. I knew this wasn't right, but I wanted to accept that my kid was ok. No seizure, no epilepsy( it runs in hubby's fam) I mean we can fix drugs. We can't fix epilepsy, right? 6 weeks to the day I'm upstairs in bed and I hear my hubby scream ( he's no good under pressure) I run down the stairs to find my kid laid in the floor in a grand mal seizure. 911....they come out, look her over. Do you really wanna take her to the hospital??? Uh yesssss!!!!! We set her up for a neuro because this time there are no drugs in her system :0( OMG......something is really wrong with my kid! We eventually discover she has partial complex epilepsy. There it is....my child is sick. And this is where, in my memory, that Rachel starts to change. She drifts deeper into drugs. Deeper then I care to even imagine. She is still carefree, quick witted, last minute. Her high school English teacher use to keep her papers and say " this is how you right a paper" her older sisters, Danica and B use to come to her and say hey I need help writing this paper. I remember one paper B wrote with the help of Rachel. About tawanda, her car throughout high school. If I recall B scored an A. Rachel was very smart, but lazy in study habits. She scored those awesome grades on term papers she wrote the night before they were due. Imagine if she had put forth a little effort? She was a hard worker, is to this day. Worked at sonic and saved enough money to buy an old Mustang. She started working with Arabian horses a few years back and she loves it. Not much money, no insurance, no future :0( Not to put out to much of her personal business, but she became involved with someone who hurt her deeply. This seemed to send her over the edge. She has become a child I do not know.  She is depressed, angry, bitter, hateful, disrespectful, a bully, demanding....estranged  from her family. Up one min and down the next. Wanting therapy to overcome and then saying no she isn't going. She seems to have the worst luck of anyone I know, save a friends son. Their lives are like mirror images. Poor choices have to led them to where they are now. We have bent over backwards to try to help her. When we solve one problem she finds another. There's always an excuse why she can't do this or that to get better, do better, move on...it got me to thinking. Why does it seem when we give our kids advice or try to encourage them in a direction that would be beneficial to them they act like we are trying to trick them or set a trap for them? Like Max, they get into a standoff  with us. Wanting to go out or come back in but REFUSING to move!  From the moment a woman becomes a mother the natural instinct is to protect the offspring. Sometimes that's not the case, that I never understand. Sometimes it's over the top. I probably fall more into this category because I was left somewhat unprotected and so I tend to over protect. Don't get me wrong, I know I have failed my kids in many areas. But all in all the instinct to protect has always been so powerful. So why is it that my kid thinks I don't love her, care about her, want her to be in pain, want her to stay stuck in the rut that she is in? When in fact there is nothing farther from the truth. I've cried countless tears, lost countless hours of sleep only to still have the same answer.....I don't have the answer :0/ Her father gives into her every demand, whim, call, text, and I on the other hand am totally opposite. I feel like I've been living in a prison, she is the prison guard. I'm a puppet and she is the puppet master. I never saw this as the latter part of my life. Having a troubled child who has wrecked havoc in my home and she doesn't even live with us. Having a husband so consumed with "saving" her that it sometimes causes problems for us. I feel like he is with her more then me, and we can be sitting in the same room. I'm not trashing him. He is a wonderful man who has always taken care of us and loved us unconditionally. Despite a few bumps in the road we have had a great life and I love him with all my heart. I'm just ready for the next faze of life and it seems we are stuck, trapped. Trying to get out and see what's next. I've always said that if you try hard enough you can look around and see those that are worse off then you and I know that's true so I try not to complain. But after 2 solid years, I'm tired. If you've never had kid problems, count yourself lucky. It is without a doubt the most painful thing you can endure because kids are a part of you, they come from your body. I continue to pray and trust God that Rachel will get better....my problem with this is that she has to allow him to help. See he is a perfect gentlemen and would never force his help on you. I apologize for the lengthy post. It's been 2 weeks since I've seen my therapist due to the hurricane and interstate shut downs and such. Sometimes you just gotta pour out your heart....a quote I borrowed from a dear friend:

"The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for".
Take care of you
Karen